• picture
  • picture
  • picture
  • picture
Public Radio's Environmental News Magazine (follow us on Google News)

In Search of Oil

Air Date: Week of

With skyrocketing gas prices and U.S. determination to wean ourselves from foreign oil, companies are looking for new energy sources close to home. Rich Pliskin and his Players of Princeton, New Jersey imagine that it won’t be long before drilling comes to a neighborhood near you.



Transcript

CURWOOD: With oil prices hovering near $70 a barrel, and oil profits at some of the highest levels in history, the race is on for new sources of oil and gas. Demand is so high that in Texas, oilrigs are drilling deep and wide, almost every where, including in a Houston neighborhood. The search of untapped sources of black gold has writer Rich Pliskin and his Players wondering how long it will be before energy wildcat drillers wind up in your front yard.

[CLINKING OF SPOON AGAINST CUP]

ROGER: Ahh. Thanks, hon.

CINDY: Light 'n sweet. Just the way you like it.

ROGER: Couldn't live without it.

[HELICOPTOR SOUND]

CINDY: Is that a helicopter?

ROGER: Not in this neighborhood.

[HELICOPTOR CONTINUES. BIRD CHIRPING]

CINDY: Roger, there's a chopper in the front yard!

ROGER: What the --

[DOORBELL RINGS]

FOREMAN: Roger Martin? Of 10 Clampett Court?

ROGER: Yes, that's right. Who are you? And what are all these trucks doing on my front lawn!

FOREMAN: [CALLING OUT TO WORK CREW]This is it, fellas! Let's start punchin' holes!

[HUGE TRUCK SOUNDS; DRILLING]

ROGER: What's the meaning of this? Who are you?

FOREMAN: We're NERC.

[CALLING OUT]

Pound that baby down, Fred! That's it!

ROGER: NARC? There's no drug dealing here!

FOREMAN: That's "NERC." National Energy Recovery Corp. Part of the governmental-petroleum complex.

ROGER: I don't understand.

[POUNDING SOUND]

FOREMAN: NERC satellite says your yard's got the richest vein of light sweet crude this side of the Board of Ed building.

CINDY: Oil? You're drilling for oil? In my peonies?

FOREMAN: Plenty of it, ma’am. Government's under pressure to top off those tanks, at least through November.

[CALLING OUT} Get that derrick in here, Freddy! That's it!

CINDY: My yard isn't an oil field. It's -- it's a yard! Roger?

ROGER: Now see here, NARC, or NERC or --

FOREMAN: Whoaaa..Comin' down!

[CRACK OF TREE FALLING, THEN CRASH OF METAL AND GLASS]

CINDY: My hummer!

FOREMAN: You, uhh, might wanna move the vehicles off the work site, ma’am.

CINDY: It's not a work site! It's a mulch bed!

DRYSDALE: [CALLING OUT] Hey, Rog!

ROGER: [GROANS] aw, not Drysdale.

DRYSDALE: I hear you're sittin' on a goldmine!

ROGER: What?

DRYSDALE: They found coal under Furman's pool. Smithers has tungsten!

ROGER: Oh, my god. That's awful!

DRYSDALE: Awful? They're rich! Do you have any idea what they're paying for the drilling leases?

CINDY: Drilling leases?

[KA-CHING!]

ROGER: Honey?

CINDY: Zip it, Roger.

[TO DRYSDALE]

CINDY: What are these leases you're talking about?

DRYSDALE: Let's just say their brokers’ suddenly taking their calls. Say, what happened to the hummer?

CINDY: Hey! Hey, Mr. Energy man!

ROGER: But, sweetheart! The peonies!

CINDY: Get that wreck outta there, Freddy!

ROGER: Honey?

CINDY: Cut 'er up, drag 'er out and let's get the goop outta the ground. Move it, move it, move it! Let's go!

[TRUCK IDLING FADES UNDER]

CURWOOD: A little satire, courtesy of Rich Pliskin and his Players of Princeton, New Jersey.

 

 

Living on Earth wants to hear from you!

Living on Earth
62 Calef Highway, Suite 212
Lee, NH 03861
Telephone: 617-287-4121
E-mail: comments@loe.org

Newsletter [Click here]

Donate to Living on Earth!
Living on Earth is an independent media program and relies entirely on contributions from listeners and institutions supporting public service. Please donate now to preserve an independent environmental voice.

Newsletter
Living on Earth offers a weekly delivery of the show's rundown to your mailbox. Sign up for our newsletter today!

Sailors For The Sea: Be the change you want to sea.

Creating positive outcomes for future generations.

Innovating to make the world a better, more sustainable place to live. Listen to the race to 9 billion

The Grantham Foundation for the Protection of the Environment: Committed to protecting and improving the health of the global environment.

Contribute to Living on Earth and receive, as our gift to you, an archival print of one of Mark Seth Lender's extraordinary wildlife photographs. Follow the link to see Mark's current collection of photographs.

Buy a signed copy of Mark Seth Lender's book Smeagull the Seagull & support Living on Earth